Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Real Estate Humor

We all need a bit of humor in our lives, some days more than others. I'm having one of those days. So I'd thought I'd share some real estate humor. These are some old excerpts from an old Mary Umberger article called "Crime and Punishment Real Estate Style." She's a writer for the Chicago Tribune. You know how you have those old emails that you save because they're so funny....well this article was one of those for me.

"A property owner who holds a spot on the Village Voice's list of New York's "10 worst landlords" has told another publication he's tired of being a landlord and is auctioning 48 of his buildings for as much as $250 million.
The New York Daily News says the city of New York has cited the landlord for more than 3200 building code violations. He told the paper that's not such a bad number and that the buildings at one time had more than 30,000 violations.
He said he wanted to sell the buildings to have more time for philanthropy." - And I suppose that's his way of trying get out of the building code violations? Is this guy for real?

"By now it's barely news that home sellers and their real estate agents are trying all kinds of tactics to draw attention to their properties.
We will make an exception for one Florida man's efforts to make his waterfront home more eye-catching: he painted "4 Sale" on its roof in red, 12-foot-tall letters, hoping to grab the attention of boaters who sail by.
The neighbors were not so amused. Nor was the Belleaire Beach, which said the owner was violating a city ordinance that prohibited anything other than the traditional "For Sale" sign in the front yard." - I mean, come on, you can't blame a guy for trying.

"An empty lot on New York's Upper East Side that was recently a townhouse - it was leveled when it's owner, a New York doctor, apparently blew it up rather than lose it in a divorce." - Must have been quite a divorce. Yikes.

And my favorite......

"When you see signs on the streetlamps touting a "home-based business," you'll wonder whether this is what they had in mind: In St. Lucie County, Fla., federal investigators say an enormous marijuana-growing operation revolved around the offer of a free home for two years in exchange for tending the crop.
The investigators say at least 59 homes in the middle-class suburban subdivisions were converted to indoor marijuana farms. The residents, most of all whom moved to south Florida from New Jersey, agreed to live in the homes for at least two years. If they wanted out of the deal at that point, the home would be sold and they would get half of the equity, according to published reports. The growers earned about $1000 per plant, and each home had 34-322 plants, the investigators said.
In late September, the Tribune published a report of about 40 similar busts in Sacramento, where officials said organized-crime figures had chosen homes in subdivisions because it seemed less likely that the growers' activities would be noticed by neighbors." - I mean is this Ripley's Believe it or Not? People really do this? Add another notch to the stupid criminal list.

Cartoon courtesy of RealEstateFunny.com